FuNNy stORieS

If I died

A wife asks her husband, "Honey, if i died, would you remarry??"

"After a considerable period of gieving, I guess I would. we all need companionship."

"If I died and you remarried," would she live in this house?"

"We've spent a lot money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm going to get rid of my house. I guess she would."

"If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house," the wife asks, would she sleep in our bed?"

"Well, the bed is new brand, and it cost us $2,000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess she would."

"If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house ans slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?" "Oh, no," the husband replies." She's left-handed."

The Chicken And The Egg

A chicken and an egg were laying next to each other in bed. The chicken was smoking a cigarette, and the very pissed-off egg said," Well.... I guess that answers THAT long-asked question!"

Three Old Men

One seventy year old man said, "I have this problem, I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutee to pee."

And eighty year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."

The ninety year old man say, "At seven I pee like a horse , at eight I crap like a cow."

" So what's your problem?" asked the others.

" I don't wake up until nine."